he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
