im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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