you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
