He is an equal opportunity slut.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
