she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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