i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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