i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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