Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
