I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
