I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
