Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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