i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
