So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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