my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize