I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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