I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
