look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize