I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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