what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize