One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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