quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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