Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
