I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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