Whod you bang
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
