Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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