I have demons in me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
