He kissed a someone with a penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
