if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
