We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
