I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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