Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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