No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
