So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
