dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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