I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize