sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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