What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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