We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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