Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
