her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
