i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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