I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
