Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
