Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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