i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
