dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
