No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dick very happy bro
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
