People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
