she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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