i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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