Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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