Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
