We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
