we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
