yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
