Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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