I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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