I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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