I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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