What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
