So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
