this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
either way he was missing a nipple.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
