OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
