my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
