After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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