also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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