The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
