Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
