Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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