id be glad to
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
