; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
