I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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