He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize