Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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