im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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